After Shambala
by chichirichick
Summary: Takes place after the FMA movie Conqueror of Shambala. Ed and Al meet the other world Winry and it pushes Ed over the edge. WinxEd EdxWin
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: So I watched the Fullmetal Alchemist movie (aka downloaded fansub). Got really angry at it. So I'm writing this fic after that stupid movie to fix things. So if you didn't watch the movie, you may be confused. So sorry.

--

"Alphonse, just get rid of it!" Next thing I know, Al gives me a direct kick to the stomach, and I'm definitely going down… actually, OFF the wagon! I fell on my back, my legs flying over my head so that my end position was a very graceful face plant.

"Brother!"

Yeah, now he thinks about the consequences of kicking me while I'm standing up in a wagon! And all over a damn kitten. I thought maybe he'd grown out of that phase after he no longer had empty armor to hide them in. But no, oh, no, kittens were still top priority.

"Alphonse," I growled, spitting a nice clump of dirt out of my mouth.

"Are you alright?" I was really expecting Al at this point, but it was a woman's voice… a familiar voice.

I looked up at her and could feel all the color drain from my face. "W… Winry?"

"You know my name?" She blinked, confused. "Have we met before? You do look familiar…"

"No." I pushed myself to my feet.

"You're bleeding!" She attacked my forehead with a handkerchief, her face no inches from min. I could feel my cheeks grow hot.

"Brother, are you okay!" Al ran up behind Winry, panting. "I'm sorry!"

"Yeah, yeah," I sighed. "Thanks for your help." I grabbed her hand that she was using to dab my head.

"That cut looks bad, you should get some stitches."

"Winry?" Al squeaked. "How did you get here?"

She turned to him, her hand slipping out of my grasp. "I've always been here! Who are you two? How do you know me?"

Before Al could go off the deep end, I moved over to him, putting him in a headlock. "I'm Edward Elric, and this is my little brother, Alphonse Elric."

"Edward?" Winry stared at me, making me uncomfortable. She laughed and directed her gaze at the ground, "I'm sorry."

"Brother!" I had forgotten that Al was still struggling in my headlock. I released him and he looked at me.

I blinked, the blood starting to run down between my eyebrows. I leaned in to him. "It's not the real Winry, so chill," I whispered.

"I know," he sighed. "You're bleeding everywhere."

"AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT?"

"Maybe if you were a little more graceful…"

"YOU KICKED ME OFF A FREAKING WAGO, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?"

"Do you know any place where we can get him fixed up?" Al asked Winry, ignoring the fight he was picking with me.

"My house! Come on!" She started walking off the road and into the woods. "I was only on my way to town, but it can wait."

"Sorry," I glared at Al.

"Yeah, sorry."

"It's no problem, I'll just get milk tomorrow."

"Milk?" My face scrunched up in disgust.

"Or maybe I should get some. It looks like you could use it, being so small."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT!"

Both Winry and Al laughed hysterically as I pouted. I had at least grown three inches, so there was nothing to laugh at! Jerks!

We came out of the woods and into a big field, only three houses scattered in it. "Here we are!" She walked us to the closest one and pushed us through the door. "Victor? I'm home!"

A rather tall guy with brown hair and blue eyes walked into the room. "That fast?"

"I came upon a patient." She pointed at me. "He fell off a wagon."

"I WAS PUSHED!" I clarified angrily, glaring at Al and Winry.

"Either way, you got a nice head wound. This way." He herded us into the room he had just come out of, and then pushed me into a chair. "I have to say that this'll hurt, but you look sturdy enough, so tough it out." Victor sat in a chair across from me, an array of scary looking utensils next to him.

"How did you know Ed needed stitches?" Al stood nervously next to Winry.

"My grandma and grandpa where doctors, my dad and mom were doctors-"

"And she married a doctor," Victor laughed.

"Married!" I jumped, almost sending his tweezers for my eye.

"Stop moving," Victor hissed at me, poking me with a needle.

"When were you married?" Al sounded excited. Jerk.

"A year and a couple months ago. Just had a baby in spring." I moved my eyes to see her smile and my heart ached.

"A baby…" I whispered, the pain in my heart now beating out the pain in my head.

"Done," Victor leaned back in his chair. "Easy."

"Thanks," I grunted and stood. I made a run for the door, to get out of that house, to get away from the picture, away from the ass Victor.

Al ran after me, trying to grab hold of my shirt. "Brother!"

"We're getting the hell out of here, Al!"

He finally grabbed hold of me, pulling me to a stop. "Brother…"

"We're going back, Al," I grimaced, my heart still aching. "I can't stand another minute looking at this fake! We're going back to the real Winry."


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry this took so long, kids. I'm a loser. I ended up being upset with myself for these chapters. I'm crying inside. Have fun, enjoy, and the next update should be up sooner because I'm actually going wild on this one right now.

--

I didn't want to touch it, but Winry eased it into my arms.

"This is Victoria. I named her after Victor because he was just so excited."

I cringed at the little thing… she did look like that big-cheeked ass. "She's pretty," I grumbled.

"Thank you!" Winry sat across from me, taking out some sowing.

I started to wish that Al was in the room so I could ditch the kid with him. But no. Even after he spent hours talking me into staying, he just goes and leaves me for Victor for the day. Idiot.

"You know… you do remind me of someone."

"Huh?" I looked at Winry, her eyes fixed on her sowing.

"When I was little, I grew up with a boy who looked," she giggled, "and acted a lot like you."

"What happened to him?"

"He died… a zeppelin exploded and…" she dropped her sowing into her lap.

My face went white. It was the other me… the other me that I got killed.

"And it's funny… when we were kids, we'd joke that we would get married when we were older… but it wasn't until after he died that I realized it wasn't joking."

"Then why marry Victor?" I could hear the anger rising in my voice and it surprised me.

"It's foolish to stop living your own life just because someone leaves you."

"But you loved him!"

"And because he loved me, I know he would have wanted me to move on."

"No, he wouldn't," I hissed, my anger now boiling.

"I never should have said anything." She brought her sewing back into her hands, stabbing at it viciously.

I tried to calm myself down. This wasn't the real Winry. What she chose to do with her life was her business. I could almost laugh at myself. As if the real Winry's life was my business? "Can I… tell you a story?"

She finally looked up at me, her face unsure. "What is it about?"

"Another world."

--

We spent years there. After I had told Winry the story about our world… she insisted we stay until we could figure out how to get the hell back. I wasn't too keen on it, but again, Al gave me a talking to until I finally agreed. It wasn't until Winry had her third child that I finally found a hope… a horrible hope.

"He's sick," she whispered to me, clutching the baby to her. "Victor said… said he won't survive." I could hear the sobs she was hiding behind her voice.

"What?" I stood up from a pile of books, my eyes wide with fear.

"My baby," she looked down to the bundle in her arms. "Didn't you say… that you could open the gate with a child?"

"What are you saying?"

"He'll die any day now… maybe today, even. I couldn't even bring myself to give him a name." She walked over to me and forced him into my arms. I'd gotten used to the idea of holding children at this point, but when I looked down I could see the abnormal look of the boy; his pale white skin tinged with grey, the blue and black circles around his eyes, his labored breathing.

"Winry, don't."

She touched the baby's forehead, a small squeak of a cry coming from the baby's mouth. "She… she would do anything for you… she would do this for you, give up anything so that you could do what you needed to do." She moved her hand from the baby to the side of my face. "I don't want his short life to be a waste. I want him to do something great."

"Winry, you can't know for sure that he's going to die! I might even be able to help him, I don't know." I was stammering, looking at the tiny fragile body in my arms. "You shouldn't sacrifice your child for me!"

She turned her back to me, walking for the door. "If I couldn't save the Edward I loved… I want to save the Edward she loves." Winry stood there, her hand on the door, as if she couldn't will herself to open it.

I closed my eyes, but the picture of the child was still there, trapped on my eyelids. "Alright." I gritted my teeth in attempts to keep the tears back. "Just tell Al to come up here."

"I will." She opened the door and started to walk through slowly.

"Winry." She froze. _Could I do this? Can I kill this child to get back to her? Is that equivalent exchange?_ "Goodbye."

--

I didn't think Al was ever going to forgive me and the silence as we walked through town after town made me almost positive of that. He only spoke to me when we entered Resembool. "Edward."

"Yeah, Al?"

"Is this worth it?"

"Don't, Al." I placed a hand on his shoulder. "I did it."

"I let you."

"Al, I said don't." He turned to look at me. "Winry… she told me…"

"I told you what?" I heard that sweet chirp behind me and my heart leapt into my throat. I turned around to see her standing there, her grocery bag tucked under her arm, her eyes glistening with tears.

"Winry…"

She smiled weakly, and I could see her body trembling slightly. "When did you two get back?"

I mentally pushed my heart back into place, forcing a goofy smile on my face. "Don't pretend like you're not happy to see us."

"Edward…" Winry rushed into my arms, her grocery bag banging me in the side. I blamed the breathlessness on the smack from her sack.

"You may want to give Al a hug, too. He may get jealous." Winry detached from me and clutched Al to her.

"Who are these guys?" I turned around sharply, about to give whatever jackass said that a piece of my mind, but the blood froze in my veins.

"Victor, these are my two childhood friends, Alphonse and Edward Elric." Winry walked over to Victor, wrapping an arm around his waist.

"Heard so much about you." He held out a hand but I didn't extend mine, my muscles refusing to move. _It's the same. I… failed._

Winry's face grew uncomfortable as Victor's hand just hung there, waiting. "Um… Victor, I'll see you tomorrow. I better just take these two home." She stood on the tip of her toes and they kissed, my whole body feeling as if it were turning into a puddle.

Winry took one of my hands and one of Al's and started leading us down the street.

"How long have you two been…?" I couldn't bring myself to finish the sentence.

"We've only been dating for a couple months," she answered quietly.

"That's great, Winry! Victor's a great guy!" I shot a glare at Alphonse.

"Well, thanks, Al." Winry gave him a strange smile and pulled us along at a faster pace. "Come on, Pinako is going to want to see you!"

--

I sat at the window, staring at Winry and that jackass sitting on the swing.

"What are you looking at?"

I turned my head slightly and saw Al. "Nothing." I opened a book in front of me and pretended to read, hoping that Al would just drop it.

"What are you going to do?"

"Nothing."

"But, Ed-"

"I'm not doing anything about them. It's Winry's life."

"Ed, you love her!"

I laughed softly and bowed my head. "Can't keep anything from you, can I?"

"You were sick to see the other Winry and Victor together… but you can do something about this one."

"Al, it's none of my business."

"Idiot."

"Alphonse!" I turned around, probably about to pummel him, but saw Pinako behind him. "Pinako… when did you come in?"

"I've been here long enough to hear how much of an idiot you are."

Al struggled not to laugh.

"It's none of my business." I stood up and started to walk for the door. "And how I feel about her is none of your business."

Pinako hit me, and hit me hard. I found myself on the ground, seeing stars. "She better be your business. She's cried over you idiots a million times. She deserves a little happiness."

"And she'll get that with Victor." I pulled myself up and continued for the door, opening it. Winry was standing there, her hand outreached for the door. "Hey."

"Hi, Ed."

I looked at her face for a moment. She seemed… sad. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she whispered, not very convincing.

"Good." I walked past her and started down the path from the house.

"Edward!"

I turned and she was still standing there. "Don't worry; I'll be back for dinner."

--

Everything was black. I couldn't sleep, so instead was sitting in the kitchen, staring at the darkness, for once unable to think.

The door clicked open, but I could not bring myself to look, especially when the light was turned on and I was blinded. "Waiting up for me?"

"I couldn't sleep."

Winry came to the table where I was sitting and sat across from me. "Well, I'm glad you worry."

I shrugged. "Where you out with him?"

"No, out with some friends. I would have invited you…"

"But you knew I wouldn't go."

"Right." She leaned back in the chair. "Do you like Victor?"

I felt like I'd been hit. _I can't answer that._ "Shouldn't I be asking you that question?"

"I wouldn't be with him if I didn't. But I was asking you what you thought of him."

"He's fine, if you like a big cheeked jackass," I grumbled.

"Edward…"

"I don't really know him, so I have nothing to say." I stood up and began to walk for the stairs, stopping as the phone began to ring.

"I'll get it. Just go up and try to get some sleep." I watched as Winry stood and picked up the phone, spewing one of her sweet greetings.

I turned from the stairs and walked for the living room instead, sure that I was never going to get to sleep tonight. My ears perked as I could hear her yelling, but I tried to lie down and drown it out with my arms over my ears. Suddenly, her stomping feet started ringing through the house, finally ending in the living room. She stood in front of me, her hands on her hips. "What did you say to him?"

"To who?" I moved my arms from my head, closing my eyes to avoid her stare.

"Victor. What did you say to him?"

"I never talked to him."

"When you left yesterday, when you walked out, you went to see him, didn't you?"

"No."

"Don't lie to me, Edward!"

"I said I didn't."

"You're impossible!" She leaned down, her face close to mine. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't talk to him."

I opened my eyes slowly, focusing on her face. "I didn't say a word to him."

"You're such a liar!" I felt the sting of her hand hitting my cheek.

I sat up, my face burning. "He broke up with you, didn't he?"

"You did talk to him!"

"No, I'm just damn good at figuring out why you're out of your mind!" I rubbed my hands over my face. "Did you ever think that he could have done that on his own?"

"He didn't! He wouldn't!" The tears were raining from her eyes. "You had to have talked to him."

"Fine." I threw my hands up in the air. "If that's what you want to believe, then do it, Winry. Because all I want to do is make you miserable."


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry about how long it took me to do this!! I'm such a horrible woman -- please forgive your absent-minded author!

--

The door opened, that bastard standing there with a box in his hand.

"She's not here."

"I know."

"Then why the hell are you here?"

"Dropping off some of her things." Victor put the box down on the kitchen table and stood there for a moment, staring at the contents.

"Why?"

"Why what?" he grumbled.

"Why'd you do that to her?" I couldn't believe how angry I was getting… but after all, I was getting blamed for this, so why not know the truth?

"Because she doesn't love me." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I wanted to get married, have kids, but I know I'm not the one she wanted."

"That's bullshit."

Victor sat down at the kitchen table, his eyes staring through me. "She talked about you all the time."

"She grew up with Al and me. They're just stories."

"No. She talked about you. Everyday I felt like I was being compared to you, measured up to you, and I just lost."

"She wanted you."

"Are you an idiot?"

"What?" I felt like hitting him, a lot.

"Are you blind? Or just deaf?"

"I'm neither, you ass!"

He pounded his fist on the table, making me jump. "Then why can't you see that she's in love with you?"

"You're a liar," I stammered, my face started to feel hot.

He started laughing. "And you're in love with her."

"Shut up."

"What, are you two friends now?" Both of us turned to see Winry standing in the doorway, her face burning.

"Winry, its not-" Her glare stopped me from saying anything more. I stood up and walked for the stairs, hoping like hell I wouldn't get a wrench in the head on the way out. As soon as I had walked out, the screaming began. I made a run for my room, praying that closing the door would drown out their voices, but it still seemed like Winry was screaming in my ear.

After a good half hour of deliberation, the screaming stopped, and soft footsteps echoed through the hall. My door opened, but my back was to it.

"I'm sorry, Edward."

"Yeah." I curled up tighter in a ball, waiting for the sound of the door closing, but it never came.

"Victor explained…"

"Good."

"I'm really sorry, Ed."

"It's fine."

I felt my bed dip slightly under her weight. "You won't even look at me?"

I sighed and turned onto my back, propping my head up with my arms so I could look at her. "Better?"

"What's wrong?"

I could make a list. _I can't sleep. I'm pretty sure I killed a child. I've just been told that you're in love with me, and I'm fairly sure I'm in love with you. Ugh._ "When we were in the other world, we saw you."

"Another me?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"She was married… to Victor. They had two… three children."

Winry's eyes fell to her hands. "Was she… happy?"

"She seemed alright. But I wasn't." I sat up and rubbed a hand over my face.

"What?"

"I couldn't bear to look at them." I tilted my head back, resting it on the backboard of the bed. "Every time I looked at them… at their children… it made me sick."

"… Sick?"

I locked eyes with her and smile softly. "I wanted it to be me."

"Edward?" she squeaked as I took one of her hands.

"I wanted to be Victor… I wanted those to be my children… I was so jealous." I rubbed my thumb along the side of her hand. "And when I saw the real you with him… ah, I could have died. But you didn't deserve to be hurt… so I… just let it go. I knew I didn't deserve what I wanted… not with you."

"Edward!" She sounded as if she were scolding me.

"What?" I almost whined.

"You should stop thinking about yourself."

"What?"

"You don't deserve?" She leaned forward, a frown on her face. "What about what I deserve?"

"I said you didn't deserve to be hurt."

"Yeah, but I don't deserve you?" My eyes went wide, and she laughed in reaction. "I think after all the shit you put me through and all the times you've left me, I think I deserve you. So you can feel however you want about me, but you damn well better stay. That is, if you know what's good for you."

"Hey, Winry?"

"Yeah?"

"I…" I bent my head and expelled all the air from my lungs, taking in a deep breath. "I… I love you." I felt the bed move and suddenly her head was on my chest, her face an inch or so away from my neck.

"I love you, too, Ed."

I let out a long sigh, wrapping my arms around her. "Your skin's so soft," I whispered without even thinking. The embarrassment gripped my cheeks.

"And your hands are pretty calloused," she giggled. "But at least you smell good."

"Yeah, you smell like a mechanic."

"Edward!" She brought her head up from my chest, coming face to face with me.

"I lived with a mechanical arm and leg… I like it." I leaned in, putting us cheek to cheek. I took a deep inhale of her scent. "I love it."

The breath caught in my throat as I felt her lips caress my cheek. "You better say that." I relaxed my head back and couldn't help but be in awe of her smile. I had never seen that expression on her face. I leaned in slowly, catching her smile with my lips. I cradled the back of her head, my fingers in her hair, pushing her deeply into the kiss.

"I love you so much," I breathed out across her lips.

"Ed?"

"Yeah?" I almost couldn't keep my lips off hers.

"Did you really want to have babies with me?"

I chuckled. "Yes, lots and lots."

"Don't joke around."

"Winry, I'm not joking. I held each baby in my arms not that long after they were born and every time… I thought 'How different would they look if they were mine?' or 'What would it be like to have them call me dad?' each and every time."

"Really?"

"No, I just made it all up," I laughed. "Of course, stupid."

"Thanks," she frowned.

"They were so beautiful… they all looked like you…" _Even the one I killed._ I closed my eyes, trying to keep the thought out of my head, but there he was, the picture of the baby in my arms sitting on my eyelids.

"Edward?"

"Yeah, sorry." I opened my eyes and smiled softly.

"No, what's wrong? You looked… like you were going to cry."

"Huh? No, Winry, I…" I sighed. Something in my mind kept telling me to tell her, but what good would it do? To have her know I killed an innocent child.

"You can tell me, Ed."

"You'll hate me," I touched the side of her face softly. "I already hate myself."

She bit her lip. "Whatever it is, Ed, just tell me."

"I… Winry, the other Winry, her third child was born very sick. She came to me and…" The image of the child flashed into my mind and I couldn't stop the tears forming in my eyes. "She gave him to me."

"To save?"

"To _use_."

"What?"

"Babies are still attached to the gate."

"You used the baby to get back here?"

"I didn't want to but she… told me it was what she wanted me to do. I trusted her that I did the right thing, but…"

Winry wrapped her arms tightly around my neck, my face pushed into the crick of her neck. "If it's what she wanted, Edward, then you have to respect her decision. You shouldn't blame yourself for her choice."

"But, I-"

She immediately hushed me with her lips, firm but loving. "I know, Ed, I know."

"I'm so sorry."

"I know, and she knows, too."


End file.
